The Lost Revue
DAVE TONGUE from LOST REVUE
1. Who are you?
My name is Dave Tongue, the beats of the lost revue.
2. No, really, who are you?
Well the full name is David Andrew Neville Tongue. Not entirely sure of > the correct spelling of “Neville” as I seldom use it.
I was born and raised in the south east of this wonderful isle and grew up in the soul raping coastal town of Bexhill-on sea, described by the
marvellous late Spike Milligan as “Gods waiting room”. It was recently awarded the title of 8th
crappest town in Britain by a national newspaper on account of it smelling of Ammonia and Cats. I’m fortunate enough to
come from a musical family with a walking music encyclopedia for a father with a record collection to match, so I was brought up on a strict diet of
Rock n’ roll. When I wasn’t pretending to be at college but in fact moping about with my Motley crew, smoking fags, making my mother frown and
hating the world for no particular reason, I played a little drums. I noted the
correlation between playing gigs and having fun getting drunk and so decided that this was the way forward.
I moved to London about 5 years ago, and like to think I have mis-spent my early adulthood in much the way I did my late childhood. As long as I’ve
got my music, my friends and my chemicals, everything gonna be alright!
3. What are you up to at the moment?
Filling out this interview, drinking my coffee and contemplating scratching my
testicles.
4. What three rules would make up your manifesto?
I’m not a big fan of rules, and I’m not really passionate or opinionated enough to say I have rules to live by without sounding like a cliche.
But these make sense/make me smile:
Keep your friends close and stay the fuck away from your enemies
Remember that all things are potentially funny
Drive it like you stole it
5. If you were the dictator of a modern industrial country, what would
you abolish? What laws would you implement?
I believe that there is still a law that says that it’s ok to kill a Scotsman with a bow and arrow with in the city walls of York. This, to my
mind seems outrageous in modern society. The worse thing is, that not everybody knows about this law including some Scottish people. I wonder how many Scotsmen have been taken on a ‘weekend break’ to York for a spot
of ‘Archery’, only to meet their grisly demise. And the murderer? Away with it, because of an outdated loophole. It’s scandalous.
Other than that, my choices would be completely selfish, and would probably lead to the immediate economic and social fall of the country
until I am declared unfit to run the country and subsequently sacked.
6. What are your lyrics about?
As the drummer of the band, my lyrics aren’t too hot. I generally express myself with a “boom boom bah, boom boom bah, dacker dacker, dacker
dacker, dacker dacker, dacker dacker , CRASH!
7. What is your opinion on the contemporary music scene? What do you
like/dislike?
There are some marvellous bands about at the moment, and I really enjoy turning on the radio safe in the knowledge that I’ll be listening to a
good tune. I happen to think ‘Busted’ are particularly good, and my girlfriend has just bought tickets to see them and I’m really looking
forward to it.
8. What distinguishes you from your peers?
I’m gonna have to go with Al on this one. We are endorsed by God almighty himself!
Oh, and I can fly..
9. Where do you see yourself in five years time?
I’ve always fancied Greenland, very festive around Christmas time. I can see myself there!
10. Any regrets?
Only when I get caught.
DR. PHILPHY from THE LOST REVUE
1. Who are you?
I am Dr Philphy, guitarist in The Lost Revue.
2. No, really, who are you?
Well, I am Phil Edwards, but because I recently got my PhD in Epidemiology, the other guys in The Lost Revue decided I will now be
called ‘Dr Philphy’. Which is far cooler. But no one is one single thing, are they? I’m at least 40 different people at any one moment. You
are too.
3. What are you up to at the moment?
With the other two guys in The Lost Revue I’m helping Al Joshua earn enough money to buy some bread. He’s hungry. Really.
4. What three rules would make up your manifesto?
Well, my manifesto would be different to those of the other three guys in The Lost Revue.
My three rules would be:
i. All animals are all created equal
ii. The music’s good if it makes you feel the way you want to feel
iii. Just dance – don’t talk about it!
5. If you were the dictator of a modern industrial country, what would
you abolish? What laws would you implement?
Simple. I would abolish the dictatorship. (Did you know that the word ‘dictator’ comes from men having sex with
potatoes?)
I would introduce a law that said that newspapers can only print pictures of world events – no words. Subjective speculation about cause
always leads to misinformation, argument and confusion.
6. What are your lyrics about?
I think “Cropped-top-Hip-Hop-Lollipop-Shoe-shine” just about sums it up, doesn’t it? Better ask Al. Al, what are your lyrics about?
7. What is your opinion on the contemporary music scene? What do you
like/dislike?
It’s getting harder and harder for bands and artists to be original. Just imagine how easy it was in 1956 to write a pop classic! I like the
way that some bands don’t give a shit that they aren’t original and just have fun doing what has been done before. I dislike the way that bands
split up if they aren’t rich after 2 years of playing together.
8. What distinguishes you from your peers?
We are the only band called ‘The Lost Revue’. That’s pretty distinguishing. Other than that, we sincerely believe in the revival of
a travelling revue. Story-tellers, magicians, Devils and conjurers…
9. Where do you see yourself in five years time?
In 5 years time I will still be playing guitar with Al. I just hope that success won’t have gone to his head and that he still sings songs
that mean something to me.
10. Any regrets?
Probably too few to mention.
LUKE from THE LOST REVUE
1. Who are you?
Luke.
2. No, really, who are you?
Hmm, after reading the rest of the bands responses, I’m at something of a loss to explain. And since I tend to be at something of a loss
generally, I guess “I” am mainly a shambling, shuffling, baffled ball of bewilderment. How about you?
3. What are you up to at the moment?
Sitting in an internet cafe after finally giving in to the admonishments of my friends about how I have so consistently failed to
answer these questions. Contemplating a fascinating evening of going to the shops and going to bed. Yessirre, don’t let it be said that the
Lost Revue aren’t carrying the radical torch of rock and roll rebellion on into the dark night. Also contemplating what a moron I was to quit
smoking for 7 whole goddamn months and then elect to start again.
There are a lot of smoking issues going on at the moment.
4. What three rules would make up your manifesto?
1) All manifestoes are from henceforward only to be written by me and me alone.
2) All manifestoes must consist of only two points to avoid eternal unrelenting eye popping tedium
3) Clearly no 3
5. If you were the dictator of a modern industrial country, what would
you abolish? What laws would you implement?
I’d abolish all national newspapers with the words “Mail” or “Sun” in it. Then I’d probably set about trying desperately hard to make things
a fine ass dandy place to be with merriment and jolity all round, and then gradually be sucked into the ever seething pit of compromise and
temptation and start justifying all sorts of compromise laws, until eventually, utterly gorged on my own power and influence, I would
attempt to lead myself and my loyal followers on a mission to build the greatest empire since Senor Khan himself, only to get a sudden
revelation of how wrong it had all gone, renounce all claims to the dicatorship and settle down in the corner of a largish library and hope
I wouldn’t be made to leave
6. What are your lyrics about?
Um, I’m afraid we bassists aren’t the most lyrical of breeds. I struggle to play one note at a time, let alone concern
myself with such new fangled notions of chord pattern and actual words.
7. What is your opinion on the contemporary music scene? What do you
like/dislike?
I used to think I had eclectic taste in music, before I eventually realised that that meant no taste at all. So I think there’s loads of
great stuff out there. Hmm, what a lame answer. OK, recently I have been listening too:
Nine Inch Nails, Belle and Sebastian, Johnny Cash, Manitoba and a song called the Ballad of the Alamo, form the old movie. Over and
over again.
8. What distinguishes you from your peers?
If I told you, you might get as distinguished too, and I couldn’t have that…
9. Where do you see yourself in five years time?
Either on the 20th edition of my two point manifesto, or some place horrible. Oh, actually, I’d really like to be in Central Asia, but
that’s going to take some organising
10. Any regrets?
Yup.